Sometimes the title comes first, or at least your husband referencing you as a motherblogger comes first. But this being a mum thing is the biggest part of my life.
We were talking in the kitchen about how hard it’s been for me to blog everyday, especially over half term. It’s always a struggle over the holidays to juggle my marketing work, looking after Hector and also my guilt too. As you know you should be doing creative stuff with papier mache, hiking though woods or baking elaborate cupcakes during the holidays, not trying to negotiate Hector to come off the iPad without the alternative being another trip to the toy shop.
I am the luckiest person with the job and the flexibility that I have. I am doubly lucky to have amazing, understanding clients that appreciate the job I do and don’t mind at all on the rare occasions that Hector is poorly. However, it’s not like I always work to deadline (I get things done pretty quickly) so that’s why the occasions are so rare.
I know a few other freelancing mums now, and we all recognise how fortunate we are to be able to do a job we love and spend time with the small people too. It does mean working in the evenings sometimes, taking advantage of grandparents for a bit of childcare and a tussle with the iPhone when you insist to your five year old that you’re checking emails but he thinks it’s time to play Lego Star Wars Microfighters instead.
But you focus more in the time you have, you work harder, and you really, really know how to negotiate tricky conversations.
Saying all this though, I feel icky about talking about being a mum and working. There are so many blogs, social media accounts and hashtags recognising and celebrating working mums. Most of them just add to the guilt that you feel. You’re doing it, but you’re not doing it well enough. You’re not taking that necessary 5 (10,15, 20…) minutes to do your make up before you do the school run, even though you have been told it will make you feel so much better about yourself. You’re not eating as well as you should, with all nutrients and good things that you need to be putting in your body (I ate a cold burger for lunch yesterday. A cold burger). I still don’t think I’m doing as well as I should, chasing new business as much as I should, charging as much as I should.
The whole thing is a massive headache already and being shown how other people do it so well just makes it worse (another blog on social media/reality coming soon too). So I feel I’m adding to it by going on about how lucky I am.
Gah. You can’t win. Or maybe you already are winning but you’re looking around too much to recognise it. Who knows. It may be time to watch Die Hard.
As a note, I finished Cherry Healey’s Letters to my Fanny this week and I loved it. It’s refreshing to read a book that encourages you to love all parts of yourself (not just body parts) but also is so honest about how Cherry is trying to change her perception of things but not always succeeding. Worth a read.
Freelance Marketing Consultant, especially that Social Media stuff.